It’s been a rough start to the year. A diagnosis, good friends losing their home in the devastating California wildfires, our older dog going through an illness we have been unable to fully remedy.

Said another way, though…

An answer means years of pain are now being remedied. The realization that the immense sorrow we feel for our friends is a direct correlation to how grateful we are they are in our lives. Happiness that our pup is still here and making us laugh, despite the added work to keep her comfortable.

Back and forth, “this is awful, this is something good I can take from it, this is awful…,” knowing both are true, but trying to keep the focus where it is most helpful.

I made this large (24”x36”) collage exactly two years ago, when a very wise person asked me what I wanted to get out of my work, and what I wanted to put into the world. Knowing I can overthink things, she specifically asked that I answer based on what feelings I was after. Less brain, more heart. (I told you she was wise.)

What I was after then is the same thing I am after now. To look at my thoughts with curiosity and humor, and without judgement. To see my feelings and beliefs as helpful clues to who I am. To ask more beautiful questions. To connect more deeply. To use the knowledge I gain through my practice to feel more at ease in who I am, and what I do. To create spaces where others can do the same. 

As is often the case, I grew into this image more fully over time. The ideas I was still playing with then have become a way of living now. Inviting the insight, and allowing the exhale.